Phang Nga Bay by Speedboat

So you’re traveling through southern Thailand, based in Phuket or perhaps Krabi right now, and you want to see Phang Nga Bay. You’re correct – Phang Nga Bay is a must if you’re within a two-hour drive. And the best way to hit the sites? A day-long boat tour stopping at different islands for an hour or so at a time.

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We booked our tour through Tour East. It included a van pickup from our hotel in Phuket (the cheapest hotel yet at $15/night with all of the amenities), a speedboat tour of four of the islands (including James Bond island, of course), canoe tour through Panak and Hong Islands, and lunch in a floating village. Totally ideal for a nine hour tour.

The day started off to an excellent start when our tour guide introduced himself as Sexy Linda. Moral of this post: when given the opportunity to take a tour through the coast of Western Thailand or really anywhere via someone named Sexy Linda, DO IT. Mind you, this person was totally male-presenting and identified as male, and just happened to be called Sexy Linda. I was into it.

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The first island of the day was Koh Khai, a lovely little spot with lots of fluorescent green tropical fish swimming around it. Luckily, Sexy Linda provided us with snorkel masks to observe the fish and the coral with. The island also had plenty of feral cats and Coca Cola vendors. Everything you need at 10am on a Thai morning.

Next up was my personal favorite part, the canoe tour of Koh Panak and Koh Hong. These islands are full of moss-covered limestone caves, I.e. The most beautiful stuff of your life (especially if you’ve grown up in a desert). Most of these caves are so small that you can only get to them via canoe, hence that aspect of the tour. And guys. This was Pure. Magic. Some of the cave entrances were so low that we had to lay down in the canoes to fit through them, which was an adventure in itself. Being so close to the water is so calming and peaceful, and once we entered the caves they were all far bigger than I expected. Like I said, pure magic.

After canoeing came lunch on Koh Panyee, the village on stilts. This place. Was. So. Cool. First of all, our lunch was so fresh and delicious (like everything in Thailand thus far), and consisted of Tom Ka Kai Soup, spring rolls, yellow curry, and some kind of unidentifiable coconut dessert. Koh Panyee is fascinating not just because it’s a “floating” village, but because the whole village practices Islam and is therefore a lot stricter than the rest of Thailand. Women had to have shoulders and knees covered, for example, a la the Buddhist temples, and there was no alcohol allowed on the island. (Never fear, though; Sexy Linda made sure we knew that the next island included on-site bars.) We visited the floating soccer field where some Australian tourists were playing soccer with local kids, which was just great to watch, and lots of shops advertising fresh coconut and Thai pearls.

The final two islands of the day were Koh Ping Kan (James Bond island), and Kai Nai, the aforementioned island bar island. Koh Ping Kan is famous because the James Bond film The Man With the Golden Gun (1974) was filmed there. Honestly, it was just as beautiful as the rest of the islands, but since I haven’t seen the film, that part of the charm was lost on me and the tourist to island ratio made it the low point of the tour for me. It did have a nice little hike, though, and let’s be clear – by low point I mean I only enjoyed it very much instead of incredibly much. So. Still a win.

Kai Nai, the final stop, featured some delicious Thai cocktails, hammocks, and a pearl shop. I bought *wildly cheap, authentic* pearls for my sister and myself, and we spent most of our stay on this island swimming in the unreal turquoise-colored water.

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Oh, now might be a good time to mention that Doug and I pretended to be British for the whole trip, as some sort of only slightly sociopathic challenge for ourselves. By the time the nine hours on a boat were coming to a close, and we were getting fatigued, I had to often elbow him to remind him that as far as the South Africans and the New Zealanders on our boat knew, we were from the motherland on an extended spiritual journey. I remain convinced that we pulled it off; Doug thinks we were found out from the beginning. WHO’S TO SAY?*

*(Hello, nice South African family who was on our Phang Nga boat tour on January 3, 2017. If you’re reading this, it’s you. You’re to say. Please tell us if we were convincing Brits.)

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Regardless of whether or not we successfully duped a boatful of people into believing we hailed from another nation, the Phang Nga Bay boat tour was a standout highlight of our Thailand trip. When visiting the area, especially if you’re stationed in Phuket, I will not forgive you if you miss this. Neither will British Natalie from Brighton.

 

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